During my wife, Debbie's, hospitalization from January 11 through January 18, 2024, I discovered that a human being can endure something that they would have given their own life to avoid. A surreal, mind-numbing 8 days. Meaning, as Debbie, my wife and best friend, lay in her hospital bed for 8 days after failing to wake up post-surgery, I would have switched places with her in a heartbeat. During our 46-year marriage, if the need ever arose, I would have defended her at the cost of my own life if necessary, and there I was, unable to defend her against this. What an utterly helpless, hopeless feeling! And after she passed on the morning of January 19, I held her cold hand and kissed her cold forehead, and it was by far the worst moment of my life.
I had stayed in the hospital with Debbie for 12 hours per day, all 8 days, talking to her, playing her favorite music and shows, ringing and sending texts to her phone, doing everything I could think of to prompt her to wake up, but to no avail. It's a very strange phenomenon because, any other time, when you gently take someone's hand and rub their arm and say quietly, "It's time to wake up now," they always wake up. So, when your spouse of 46 years just lies there and does not even stir, it is excruciatingly difficult to witness.
At this time, I want to acknowledge and express appreciation for everyone who came to the hospital to see Debbie, as difficult as it was for each of them. Of course, our two children, Marshall and Jackie, and their spouses, Laura and Erik. Your traveling from far away meant the world to me and I will always remember what you did to support me when you were hurting so badly yourselves. And thank you to Tammy, our grandson, Dillon, our granddaughter, Grace, as well as Jeanine and our 12-year-old grandson, Jayce. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being there for Grandma Debbie.
In my case, I have an extremely strong faith in God Almighty, and so did Debbie. One of us would always say on a daily basis, "We're so glad this world is not our final destination." I know God's original design for his human creation did not include death. I believe that may be why death seems so strange to us. One day, someone you have been with for 46 years is there with you, and then they're not. And it's so, so final!
It hurts, badly. It is agonizing. Those days in the hospital with Debbie were, by far, the worst days of my life up to that point. I would have given anything for her to wake up so I could have my Debbie back. I missed her so much while I was trying desperately to wake her up. I still miss her. And always will.
But my faith in God and his redemptive work through his Son, Jesus Christ, is what got me through those days, and that is what will get me through the rest of my life, even though I will continue to miss Debbie terribly.
I am 70 years old, at least physically, but, mentally, I'm still, oh, I don't know, I'd say I'm still in my 20s. You know, there is NO WAY I'm 70 years old. So, that tells me, even if I live to be a hundred, another 30 years, it will be, as the Scriptures say,
(James 4:14 KJV)
Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
So, even another 30 years will be a vapour that will last for a little time, and then vanish away. And then I will be reunited with Debbie for all eternity. No more tears. No more sorrow. No more pain. No more bickering over meaningless things. No more having to use a walker. No more struggling to get to the car for her appointments and then having to struggle to get back into the house. No more doctor appointments. No more tests. No more hospitals. But I do hope we will be able to give each other a hard time in Heaven like we always used to do during our lives together on earth. I miss that because it would make us laugh and laugh!
My prayer is that all my family and friends also have faith in Almighty God and his redemptive work through his Son, Jesus Christ. Please consider this verse which my faith hangs on:
(2 Corinthians 5:19 KJV)
To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
Here is a breakdown of that verse, which helped me tremendously in understanding it:
*To wit, that God "was" - that is past tense
*in Christ, reconciling the world - the world including you and me
*unto himself - God cannot reconcile himself to sin
*not imputing - meaning not charging, not holding, not counting
*their (which is our) trespasses unto them (which is us) -
*and hath committed unto us - past tense
*the word of reconciliation
God imputed (or placed) the world's sins onto his Son on the cross, Christ died and took the world's sins to the tomb and left them there when he resurrected. Hallelujah!
Here is the next verse to consider:
(2 Corinthians 5:20 KJV)
Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God.
Again, "...be ye reconciled to God." Notice it does not say, "...ye are reconciled to God." In 2 Corinthians 5:19, God reconciled himself to the world while in his Son on the cross. Which means the world's sins were forgiven. But do not make the mistake of conflating forgiveness with salvation. They are not the same. Even though the world was forgiven, the world was not justified, because forgiveness never justifies sin. Sin is never justified. Sin can only be forgiven.
(Numbers 14:18a KJV)
The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing (or in other words, justifying) the guilty,
So, back to, "...be ye reconciled to God." How is that accomplished?
By believing and trusting in the gospel that saves today. Notice the words, "the gospel," in verse 1 that our Apostle Paul declares unto you and me:
(1 Corinthians 15:1-4 KJV)
(1) Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;
(2) By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
(3) For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;
(4) And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
That is THE gospel that saves today right there. Jesus Christ died, was buried, and rose again for YOUR justification. Your justification if you believe and trust in that FACT.
And speaking of Jesus Christ:
(Romans 4:25 KJV)
Who was delivered for our offences, and was raised again for our justification.
So, would you join me and Debbie, a.k.a., Mama, Gram, and Gramma, in our salvation?
We both want to be with every one of our family and friends in heaven for all eternity.
Realize, it's not only my life that, quote, "is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away," unquote.
That describes your life as well.
PLEASE reach out to me with any questions about any of this, or just to talk.
And finally, what I also know is, to reiterate, none of this is God's fault.
Grace and Peace
Scott, a.k.a, Dad, Papa, Grampa
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